OttawaMom

Posts Tagged ‘bullying’

In a strange twist of fate, the family of the boy who had been bullying my son, has moved and the boy is now attending another school.  This just happened in the last week (apparently this move had been planned all along) and it was actually a teacher that told me about it, rather than my son. Finding out via a teacher didn’t really surprise me all that much because the tales my son would bring home about this boy had actually stopped, so he was no longer a source of conversation in our house.

I say had been bullying my son because as I said in my first update on the subject, the boy and my son had started to repair their friendship and the boy was no longer hurting my son. I find it ironic that just as my son was beginning to trust this boy again, he moves.  Now my son says he is going to miss him because “Mom he was finally starting to behave nicely toward me”.

My son and this boy may have been on a new path, but I am relieved just the same.  Now it is my hope that all the progress this boy has made is not lost as he tries to fit into a new school!

I am overwhelmed with the response my post on bullying received.  Seems there are a lot more people with bullying issues then I ever imagined.

A lot has happened in the two months since my last post on this issue. Back in February, I was in contact with our school’s principal many times, as the incidents kept happening.  At that time she assured me that the child in question was being dealt with both at home and at school.  She also let me know that there was a team in place at school that was dealing with this problem and others (I can’t believe there were others in the same situation, but there were). The appropriate people at the school board had also been notified.

We are definitely now seeing some results.  The bully seems to have calmed down quite a bit both in the classroom and in the schoolyard. In fact on some days he seems like a different kid.  Seems he was after attention (perhaps not getting what he needed at home?) but didn’t have the tools to go about it the right way.  In fact in one of the sit downs my son and this boy had with the principal, when she asked him if he knew what he was doing was hurting my son, he said no but that he wanted to be friends with him. Steps were made then to keep the two of them at a distance until the boy could demonstrate better behaviour (i.e being kept in at recess, entering the school after my son).

Seems to have worked for the most part where my son and this boy are concerned. Unfortunately for this boy, he is now the target of a schoolyard/classmate bully (a very angry individual who needs more help than the school can provide, but who will get that help in the near future).  In fact, my son has been known to stick up for this boy, telling me that this new bully that has emerged is a 1000 times worse than this boy ever was. Maybe he has stopped bullying my son because he knows what it feels like now, or maybe he is now getting the attention he craved all along, I don’t think we will ever know.  I only know that I am relieved that progress is being made and the appropriate people took our concerns seriously, as they should have.

As for my son, he is happy that his parents have been sticking up for him and we are definitely starting to see more of the “old” N.  We are not completely out of the woods yet, but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel.

My son has been the target of bullying at school. I always believed (naively it would seem) that school would be a safe place to send my child for the day, but I am quickly learning that is not always the case.

While the bullying is being dealt with by his teacher, principal and to some extent the bully’s parents, it has taken it’s tole on my son and as a result our family.

I should mention that my son is only six and in grade one!!

When school started in September I was an anxious mess. My son was starting full day school and I worried because I wouldn’t be there if he needed me during the day. Not to mention he would now be having recess in the school yard with all these kids who were much bigger then he was. Well I needn’t have worried because he quickly fell in love with school, even opting to stay at school during lunch time in order to have more time to play with his friends. Boy was I not ready for him not to need me anymore, but that’s another story!

Things went smoothly at first (or so I thought!) until I began to hear stories from my son about a certain kid attacking him for no reason. I will admit that at first I chalked it up to just rough school yard play (having been new to the whole recess thing I didn’t know any better) until the stories became a daily occurrence. It was always the same boy and he was always attacking my son for no reason! Even coming up to him from another part of the school yard, throwing him to the ground and kicking and punching him. Where do kids come up with this behaviour and at the tender age if 6! It just seems that this boy has some sort of weird fascination with my son and just goes off on him for no reason and always when a teacher is not looking (amazing to me how early these kids learn to be sneaky!). It happens in the school yard, the classroom, the hallway, even the library. For whatever reason this kid cannot keep his hands off my son!

Well my mother bear claws came out and I marched into the Principal’s office to discuss what was happening to my son! Now at our school we have had some upheaval with respect to Principals – we are currently on our 3rd one for the year. Although the 1st Principal heard my concerns and made the boy apologize by writing a letter to my son and miss out on a couple of recesses, the attacks continued shortly there after.

By this time we were on our 2nd Principal for the year who took an entirely different approach, opting to have the bully stay in at lunchtime to learn better behaviour for the school yard until she was satisfied that he understood and wouldn’t repeat the same attacks. It seemed to work for a while until after the Christmas holiday.

Shortly after school returned, this bully began again! This time not only did I hear about it from my son but also from my son’s best friend and his mom! And I even witnessed it for myself and believe me it took all the strength I had not to throttle him!!

Once again I found myself talking to his teacher. Compounding matters is the fact that this boy is in my son’s class and they were actually friends back in kindergarten. Try explaining to your child why someone who used to be their friend suddenly turns on them!

After many conversations with my son’s teacher and her discussions with our 3rd Principal, they came up with a new plan to try and prevent my son from being hurt. Unfortunately this new plan is not working and after the latest incident – my son being choked in the hall way at school – I will be back at the school looking for some answers yet again. To say that I am frustrated is an understatement!

My son is no longer the same happy go lucky boy he once was and it breaks my heart! No one should have to deal with a bully never mind doing it at 6!

Have any of you had similar problems with your children? How were they handled/resolved?