My son has been the target of bullying at school. I always believed (naively it would seem) that school would be a safe place to send my child for the day, but I am quickly learning that is not always the case.

While the bullying is being dealt with by his teacher, principal and to some extent the bully’s parents, it has taken it’s tole on my son and as a result our family.

I should mention that my son is only six and in grade one!!

When school started in September I was an anxious mess. My son was starting full day school and I worried because I wouldn’t be there if he needed me during the day. Not to mention he would now be having recess in the school yard with all these kids who were much bigger then he was. Well I needn’t have worried because he quickly fell in love with school, even opting to stay at school during lunch time in order to have more time to play with his friends. Boy was I not ready for him not to need me anymore, but that’s another story!

Things went smoothly at first (or so I thought!) until I began to hear stories from my son about a certain kid attacking him for no reason. I will admit that at first I chalked it up to just rough school yard play (having been new to the whole recess thing I didn’t know any better) until the stories became a daily occurrence. It was always the same boy and he was always attacking my son for no reason! Even coming up to him from another part of the school yard, throwing him to the ground and kicking and punching him. Where do kids come up with this behaviour and at the tender age if 6! It just seems that this boy has some sort of weird fascination with my son and just goes off on him for no reason and always when a teacher is not looking (amazing to me how early these kids learn to be sneaky!). It happens in the school yard, the classroom, the hallway, even the library. For whatever reason this kid cannot keep his hands off my son!

Well my mother bear claws came out and I marched into the Principal’s office to discuss what was happening to my son! Now at our school we have had some upheaval with respect to Principals – we are currently on our 3rd one for the year. Although the 1st Principal heard my concerns and made the boy apologize by writing a letter to my son and miss out on a couple of recesses, the attacks continued shortly there after.

By this time we were on our 2nd Principal for the year who took an entirely different approach, opting to have the bully stay in at lunchtime to learn better behaviour for the school yard until she was satisfied that he understood and wouldn’t repeat the same attacks. It seemed to work for a while until after the Christmas holiday.

Shortly after school returned, this bully began again! This time not only did I hear about it from my son but also from my son’s best friend and his mom! And I even witnessed it for myself and believe me it took all the strength I had not to throttle him!!

Once again I found myself talking to his teacher. Compounding matters is the fact that this boy is in my son’s class and they were actually friends back in kindergarten. Try explaining to your child why someone who used to be their friend suddenly turns on them!

After many conversations with my son’s teacher and her discussions with our 3rd Principal, they came up with a new plan to try and prevent my son from being hurt. Unfortunately this new plan is not working and after the latest incident – my son being choked in the hall way at school – I will be back at the school looking for some answers yet again. To say that I am frustrated is an understatement!

My son is no longer the same happy go lucky boy he once was and it breaks my heart! No one should have to deal with a bully never mind doing it at 6!

Have any of you had similar problems with your children? How were they handled/resolved?

It hit me like a ton of bricks.  Something I was completely unprepared for and I sat in the car and wept.

Okay before you go thinking it was something bad, let me explain.

My 6 year old son and I have done a lot together.  In fact for the first three years of his life, it was just he and I, all day, everday. We were a team while hubby was at work and we did everything together.  Went to playgroups, museums, shopping.  I was his first playmate, teacher and confident.

Now for the first time, he is away from me for the entire day and I feel like I have lost control (okay, only for 6.5 hours a day but still) over what he does, who he hangs out with, when he eats, if he eats.  I am no longer around to remind him to wash his hands, or to wear his hat or to remember to say please and thank you.  I’m also not there to soothe him when he gets hurt in the school yard or when he gets his feelings hurt.  I no longer know what he does every minute of every day and I worry.  Can he do it without me?  Does he miss us?   I can only sit back now and hope his dad and I have done our job and given him the tools to go out in the world and become a confident, self assured and independent little boy.

This transition to Grade 1 has been a lot harder than I thought it would be, on me not him.  Even harder in some ways then sending him to kindergarten for the first time. I will admit that I couldn’t even take him to school on the first day because I didn’t want him to see me cry!  And for the first three weeks I picked him up at lunchtime, brought him home, fed him and then took him back to school for the afternoon,  carefully orchestrating the whole thing so he would only have to be in the school yard for a few minutes before the bell rang (seems I have a hang up when it comes to the school yard and watching my little boy amongst all the big kids!!).

And then it happened.  Last Friday was Pizza Day and he stayed at school for lunch.  I was okay with this since I had volunteered to help out.  What I wasn’t prepared for was him coming home that afternoon, to tell me that he had had so much fun with his friends that he now wanted to stay at school everyday! EVERYDAY!!  Now don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that he is so happy and comfortable at school that he wants to spend the whole day there.  But I am sad that he is no longer dependent on me for every little thing and doesn’t need me anymore in certain aspects of his life.

So on Sunday night I packed him his first school lunch and took him to school on Monday morning.  I walked him to the school yard, got my hug and kiss (at least he’s not too old to give up that yet!) got back in the car, parked it where I could see him but he couldn’t see me and I wept.  I wept because he has reached yet another milestone.  I wept because he is growing up way too fast but yet still looks so small in that yard with all the big kids. I wept because he is happy, and that makes me happy.  I wept because he has literally grown up before my eyes and is the confident and independent boy I want him to be.

He is now gone from me for 6.5 hours a day and I miss him. But I don’t want to be one of those hovering moms so I will let go and let him become independent and his own person.  I just won’t let him see me hiding in the bushes watching as he does it!

Until next time, Live Well, Laugh Often Love Much.